nihongo wa muzukashisugiru! Japanese is too hard!

Studying japanese is so frustrating! And I blame my parents for it! LOL not really, but in a way I do.

Since being bilingual meant I’ve never had to learn a second language, studying Japanese is my first experience with a foreign language. I wish my parents had made me & my siblings learn a foreign language when we were kids, I feel that we missed out on an important thing especially in terms of learning and realizing ones limits. *I now realize my true limits, not so far unfortunately!*

At school, when I saw my classmates and friends struggling with English, I used to think “why? Its so easy?” LOL I didn’t realize how foreign it was to them. And the fact that they hardly used it outside of school never occurred to me. I didn’t realize that I had an edge over them, I took it for granted.

Now with Japanese, I’m having my first frustrating experiences with learning a new language. For once in my life, I feel helpless! I feel like a baby. Having to learn such easy and stupid things. And the easiest things seem so hard.

In other subjects like maths or science, even if I didn’t know something, I always knew the book was there and I could learn it easily if I wanted. But with Japanese, I feel helpless coz no matter how much I study I still don’t know if what I’m learning is right. Like, in maths you can answer a question and even if you don’t know whether its right or wrong, you can go back to the book and see.. coz theres only one right answer. You know what I mean? But in languages, you never know.. oh this is so frustrating! ARGHHHH!

One of the most difficult things I’m facing right now is putting the grammar and vocab I’m learning together into practice. I know the vocab and the grammar and if you give me a piece of paper and pen I could write a lot after thinking for a few mins, but having to think and translate instantaneously while having a conversation.. that’s just not happening for me. LOL I just go blank, but if I did it on paper I would know exactly how to respond. Sore wa muzukashisugiru! Its too hard!

Now I commend all of my friends out there who speak English so good when its not their native language. How come your so good at it? I know you’ve been studying it for over 12 years, but I believe that even if I study Japanese for that long I don’t think I’ll ever be half as good as you guys :/

Now I wonder, do you guys translate what you hear in English into your native language and then your able to answer? Or does it just happen instantaneously? Or WHAT THE HECK happens? I need to know if I’ll ever be able to speak Japanese half as good as you guys speak English!

I personally think integration is the key. But you guys haven’t been integrated into a English speaking community until university so how is it then that your so good at English?

I need some tips! I need to do my best! Ganbarimasu yo!

Bai Bai

How did this pic get in here?

Falling down, and getting up again!

There are some people that I just don’t know how to deal with. They drive me up the wall! The hardest thing in life so far *not that I have much experience in it yet* is dealing with people who can be 2 different people at 2 different times. When they’re nice, they’re the nicest there is! But sometimes they are so insensitive and hurtful *in a way that’s normal for them*. They know they’re being hurtful but they’re so used to it that they don’t even realize it, I think. Some people should just wait for a few seconds and think before they talk, or not talk to others when they’re in a bad mood!

I try not to hold grudges, when someone hurts me if I cant do anything about it *can’t solve the problem, or something* I try to put it behind me. Of course this happens after being depressed about it and crying my eyes out. I try to forgive and forget, as they say, and sometimes it works, but people who constantly keep being insensitive to my feelings just let all those hurtful memories come back, and then its even harder to deal with the current situation.

I’m a stubborn person, I won’t let someone walk all over me! If they’re not nice to me, then I wont be nice to them. But when 2 stubborn people clash, I prefer to pull away instead of hurting someone and going beyond a point where I just can’t come back from.

The last couple of months have been great, having many friends by my side, it’s the happiest I’ve been this year. And I want to continue keeping my promise that I promised myself months ago that I will being strong against all odds, but people like the ones I mentioned before just keep putting me down. One insensitive remark and everything comes crashing down. I’m trying to be strong, I’m trying my best!

After rewriting this post for about the 4th time just so I wouldn’t make references that might be understood, and after many spilt tears, I’m ready to put this behind me and move on. But soon I’m sure I will be faced with this situation again, and that keeps me on edge..

I just want to say that people need to understand how fragile others are, and how easy it is to hurt them. Its very easy to hurt a person, but its extremely hard to pull them up from the ground when they’ve fallen down. Being nice to a person, and being respectful even when you might not feel like it is a hard thing to do, and if you can be nice to someone no matter what, you’re a hero!

あたしの　ヒイロ　は　どこ　に　います　か？

Feelings

Shock:

After memorizing tons of Japanese songs without knowing what they even mean, I’ve come to regret it! Many of the songs that I like are so inappropriate and I would never be caught singing them if people could understand a word of what I was saying! However, I still like the songs and I’ll just have to hope I never mention anything related to them in front of a nihonjin ;)

Amusement:

My dad bought a blackberry, a new phone, a Mac Book, a bluetooth headset, a stylus/drawing thingy for the Mac, and now he says he wants an iPhone.. all of this in one week! 7 bloody days! Do you think my dad’s going through mid-life crisis, he definitely is! For god’s sake, he even wants to sell his 1 week old blackberry and get the newer version that he didn’t know about!

Happiness:

On Saturday, me, my little sis, fefechan & her sis S, and bash went to the Japanese restaurant. It was fun.. I enjoyed myself! And I had raw fish (was it tuna in the sushi?) for the first time, not bad, I didn’t even know it was raw until halfway through.. when I couldn’t chew it all that easily..

Embarrassment: (LOL)

We were kicked out of the Japanese restaurant! LOL I guess we stayed too long so the waitress brought the bill without us asking for it, so we paid but stayed sitting there and talking, so she came in and took the plates, and then 10 mins later when she saw we weren’t going to make a move she came in again and said “I’m sorry but we’re closing”! LOL and we had to leave and my mum wasn’t even there to pick us up, but thankfully she came a minute later or so.. LOL first time I've been kicked out of a restaurant..

Tiredness:

I’ve been so tired lately, I need a day where I can just sleep for 10 hours straight and get up and not worry about doing anything, going out or uni work or anything! The iron tablets that my doc prescribed are making me tired, nauseous, and dizzy.. Can’t wait to get off of them.. not happening anytime soon I know..

Excitement:

I’m starting Japanese lessons with fefechan & her sisters! Should be fun, except, I’m bound to embarrass myself in front of them LOL with my awful Japanese.

My grandma’s coming the week after next! YAY! Can’t wait!

Uneasiness:

Also, my mum’s friend is coming from the UK on Saturday and will be staying with us for a week. She’s the one whose little son died a month or so ago, and she’s taking a break coming here for some pampering.. but its just going to be so awkward when we see her, we don’t know what to say and what to do.

Love:

LOL no, not what your thinking! ;)

Everyday I get more and more in love with Japanese than the day before..

That’s enough for now. Wish I had some new pix to post but I haven’t had time to take any..

PS someone told me I could adjust the camera so that the images are not sooo large, if you know how please tell me coz the bloody pix are taking up so much memory, plus resizing and uploading is a pain in the ***, and they look like shit after all that trouble. (gomen, forgive my French)

PS PS if you know what forgive my French means, I commend you ;) you should all know that! If you don’t, ask!

Buta-suika and other useless things ^_^

Thought i'd update since i have a few spare minutes, and i feel like ranting.. LOL.. just kidding, don't run away..

Today i failed my first test EVER (?) -i think-! But it doesn't feel so bad..LOL.. maybe because i know i have another chance.. its an ICDL test in Access.. it was really easy and i thought i was going to get 100.. LOL so imagine my shock when i saw that i didn't pass.. No one i know passed either, everyone says somethings wrong with the computers, that they didn't save our work.. im not sure about that but i did get to one part where i couldn't save my work and i kept getting the same window over and over again until i skipped that question out of frustration.. but i wont blame it on technology, maybe it just us.. ^^

What else is happening? I went to my sensei's house today as she was having a coffee morning with all her friends.. and i met another Japanese lady, yoriko, and we got on well..

What else? oh yeah, i went to daiso the other day *the hyaku en store* and bought loads of things i will never need or use.. LOL.. all cute stuff.. heres a couple of things out of all the stuff i bought..

My buta-suika post-its, some kawaii stickers, a notebook to practice hiragana & katakana *it has little squares*..

Other news; i gave my older bro power of attorney today. So now he can do whatever he wants with all my assets *if i had any, that is* ^^

Thats all for now! Miss you all..

*for all you illiterate people...jk.. buta-suika means pig-watermelon (as if that makes sense)*
PS Fefe-chan, i haven't watched NewS no DVD yet since my laptop can't play it & i have to watch it on the PC or something. Will watch it over the weekend..arigatou!

totemo isogashii! sooo busy!

Konnichiwa minna, hisashiburi da ne!

Hello everyone, long time no see!

I’m sorry I haven’t updated in such a long time but I’ve been very busy with uni work. It seems like all our professor have been conspiring together to give us presentations, assignment, projects, and exam all at the same time. I haven’t been able to finish them all! But just because I have so much work to do doesn’t mean I’ve been spending all my time actually working on them, LOL, I’ve been working on them as much as I can *tolerate* but I’ve also been busy with visitors coming over, and us going out, and me planning for my trip, and all that.

Updates on the Japan Trip:

• My dad said hes coming with me & my bro.. then yesterday he said he won’t. I think the final decision is that its only me & my bro going.
• I’ve staying at a ryokan! *Japanese Inn* I’m so excited, its going to be such an experience! ^_^
• I’ve been narrowing down my list of where I want to go and what I want to do while I’m there. Its just too long, no amount of narrowing down seems to work. LOL.
• I’ve been seeing about practical things like a JR pass for us*train tickets*. Still not sure how we’ll get hold of it..
• Gotta see about visas, or we should we use our other passports..himmmm..
• Worrying about getting sick when we’re there coz we’re not used to the cold! I’m not even sure what we need to wear, will consult my travel guide AKA marie-sensei ^^

Not much to write about really, and no new pix. I’ll leave you with the cutest gift ever, Fefe-chan gave me some hiragana stickers ^^ kawaii! And I also bought some hiragana playing cards ^^

Cheers!

Back from the sea!

I’ve been back for a couple of days but been too busy to update.

Our weekend on the island was fantastic! Our whole family went with our extended family, and my cousin S who is one of my closest cousins to me went too so we had a blast! No one wanted to come back..

The first evening when we got there we just walked around, chatted, played cards, and stuff. At night, the girls (we were 5) made a fire and roasted potatoes and made tea on the fire. It really was fun!

The next day we went fishing with fishing rope and bait not fishing lines. No one caught anything but it was great weather and we had a great time! My cuz S and I went with our cameras around the island taking photos and stuff. That night it rained so much! But it was after all the adults (im not counting myself as one LOL) went to sleep, so they didn’t see it but we played out in the rain and went crazy.

On the third day we went out fishing again and one of my cousins caught 2 fishes! But no one else did. It was really sunny and just beautiful weather all day long! On the way back we were all sad to leave. We’ve decided to go back as soon as we have another long weekend!

Oh, fefe-chan gave me a prezzie! Its all Japanese stuff.. just the right thing to put a smile on my face =) Arigatou fefe-chan!

I’m busy studying so this is for now. I’ll leave you with photos :) (click to enlarge)

Me fishing..

Part of the island

Gone to the sea!

Will be gone for 2 days. Back by late night Sat. Going to the sea! will be back with loads of cool pix, hopefully!

Take care everyone.. Later!