My new-found clarity LOL

When i first started this blog i promised myself a couple of things, one of them, not to put up any pictures of gackt! This has proven to be extremely hard and im pretty sure i've broken it before, but since i was talking about gackto i thought i might as well add his photo..

The whole 6 days i was sick, laying in my bed with nothing to do, i had the lyrics of one of his songs play over and over again in my head. The first day i was happy enough, but by the 6th i was sick of them! but i just couldn't stop myself recalling them. Interesting enough i couldn't remember the name of the song, and i had no idea what the words i was saying meant. I decided to see what the song was about out of curiosity, heres the translation

"Even now, you’re still by my side
Smiling at me with that sweet smile
When I close my eyes, see, a myriad of season
Quietly envelop me

Nobody knows what’s at the end
Of this long journey
But these uncertain nights will never come again"

Theres this clarity i felt today when i woke up and felt all better again, it really made me think of the important things in my life and what i want, and just really made me want to try my best.. LOL i would say its an appreciation for what i took for granted before, but simply being healthy and being able to stand on my own feet and actually eat something..it all seems so amazing.. i guess this week really took its toll on me but im grateful for how im feeling right now, sometimes you just need something like that to wake you up and let you reevaluate things and put things into perspective. Yoshi! Ganbarimasu!

I'm not making sense am i.. better go get some fresh air..

PS sugar tastes so sweet.. everything tastes so freakin sweet! I hate it!
PPS last week was nana's 74th birthday! Old ne? Then on Saturday we held a suprise birthday party for Oliver who turned 9! My mum just had her birthday yesterday (my little sis was like, wow mum your old, lol, my mum's like,cant you be a bit more diplomatic).. and my little bro has his birthday in 2 days! So many birthdays!

What a long week!

OK so, so much has happened in the past week..im going to try to make it as short as possible.
Last Friday i woke up feeling sick so just stayed home all day while my mum,nana, sisters, and uncle john and his family went to Mall of the Emirates where Oliver insisted on going skiing, and he did..

On Saturday I started throwing up so my mum took me to the clinic. Later that night nana and uncle John and his family left for London :( I didn't even get to say goodbye propparley since i was sick. Then,Sunday through Thursday i just got sicker everyday and had to be admitted to the ER a couple of times since i was so dehypdrated. Started to feel a bit better on thursday evening and now ive stopped throwing up and i cant be more thankful! It was one of the most terrible weeks of my life and one of the sickest times ive ever been, i'm so glad its over!

As for my internship, by the end of week 1 i had to send a report to my internship supervisor, Kitty, and when she read that i was handling phones and not given work she got upset and sent another professor an email alleging that one of the university's birghtest students is in a very unsuitable workplace and she wants him to find me another place where i can 'realize my potential'. She sounded so serious the poor guy acted so fast and arranged an interview for me for the next day! LOL but i said i couldn't make it as i was in the ER that day and didn't think i'd be well enough to meet her. So on Sunday i have an interview with the HR manager of Deloitte & Touche, which is one of the biggest accounting firms worldwide, so i can guarantee you if i intern there i will be working verrrrrry hard.. wish me luck! So.. i've now missed a whole week of internship! the other place didn't even call to ask where i am! they probably didn't notice LOL.

I'm still very tired and drained.. i actually lost 5 whole kilos from being sick! in any other circumstances i would be thrilled but i wasn't when i knew coz it just so not worth it. I better go have lunch! yay i can finally eat even though its just little bits here and there! 6 days of no eating is not very fun LOL

OK then take care everyone!

Bottom-biting bug, a Japanese phenomenon

I know not all of you are into everything Japanese like I am. And so you're probably unaware of many funny things in the Japanese media. So I'm thinking of blogging about some of those interesting things that I know about.

Today it’s the 'Oshiri Kajiri Mushi', the bottom biting bug. This is a short animated song that was featured on the popular show, minna no uta on NHK. Its about a bug that likes to bite dispirited people's bottoms to rejuvenate them and encourage them to interact more with one another. The song with its very catchy lyrics and music even made it to the top 10 singles chart in Japan. Theres still a big hype about this cute bug with catchy lyrics even thought its been out for quite some time.

Personally I saw it on youtube in the summer and didn’t make much of it, but after finding out what a sensation it has been I went back to see it again but still didn’t like it. You can check it out for yourself and see what you think. Of course when I was in Japan there was Oshiri Kajiri Mushi merchandize everywhere! I have to admit, the song kind of grows on you but..

Boring work-related post, don't read!

Today has been such a contrast to yesterday when i worked 6 hours nonstop, today its been almost 5 hours already and they havnt made me do a thing!

I arrived and they took me to my new office only to find that the girl whose sdharing the room with me is a girl i know from uni. Then they set me up with a phone and a pc and a printer and all that, and then just left me here with nothing to do. I went online for a bit, but since i cant watch videos and stuff its kinda boring, i have my back to the office door so anyone psing by can see what im doing.. Oh well..

So i've been sitting here bored out of my mind.. I've sent 100 messages, sent a couple of emails, tried to study some japanese but its too distracting with all the noise, went through my phone's contact list and deleted names and edited others, had a cup of tea, sent more messages, went on web messenger since theres no msn on this pc.. and then i had nothing else to do.. i had my head on my desk for like half an hour, then the girl next to me (theres a partition so we can only see the top of each other's heads) noticed that she couldnt see my head or hear me typing so she peered over and shes like 'are you ok?' LOL Shes lucky they gave her work to do, i really have absloutely nothing to do.. and im soo hungry.. and im tired.. i could actually go to sleep.. ive been 5 hours without anyone coming to see me so if i had slept noone would've known anyways..LOL..

I went downstairs to see if the girl i worked with needs any help but she was leaving and said when she'd come back she'd call me but shes not back yet.. anyways.. just one more hour left and i can go home!

Note for tomorrow: bring snacks and books to read, and a pillow ;) LOL no ofcourse no pillow, i wish!

Extremely boring post i know but it just reflects how im feeling, extremely bored!

TC everyone

PS i know that everyone will read this post now out of curiosity since i specifically said not to read.. thats humans for you.. LOL..

Bits and pieces

Work was so much better today. I actually worked from 8 to 2 nonstop. I dont know if they get a break or not, but i didnt stop coz noone told me to. Finally, i was given a tour of the place and they're finally giving me my own desk tomorrow. They actually put me in charge of the 'petty cash' account on top of doing other things, so tomorrow their giving me all the money and bills and stuff and people will have to come to me if they need money for anything. I'm glad about that coz the first day they were afraid to give me anything, i guess they didnt know if they could trust me LOL but today alone, as my supervisor told me, i finished almost 2 weeks worth of stuff, she was really happy.. me too, i didnt want to sit and do nothing so as soon as i finished something i'd tell her, ok what can i do now? and she'd laugh and give me something to do.. Oh and i had fun playing with their coin-counting machine ;)

My uncle and his family have just left to go on a desert safari, lucky buggers ;) My mum booked them for it without them knowing so they were very excited when they heard about it ^^ i hope they like it.. im sure they will. im jealous, they're going to ride dune buggies, camels (not so jealous of that), and do alot of other things that i read on the brochure but can't remember now.

Yesterday bash was over and just before she left for some reason we started talking about people braking in and stuff so i got scared since i was home alone.. after she went i locked all the doors and wanted to sleep but was too afraid to turn all the light off, in the end i slept with the lights on LOL but then my family came back so i had to go and open the door anyways since no one remembered to take the house key.

My bro drove me to work today since my car is in for servicing, at 7 o'clock in the morning when its so busy coz everyone's going to work and it was foggy, he drove at 180 and sometimes 200 kilometers per hour. When we got into town, he still didn't slow down very much.. I don't like him to drive me anywhere, its so scary you have to hold on to your seat so you don't fly out..

Tomorrow i have a Japanese class, so finally i'll get to see fefechan. Its been soooo long, since we were in japan actually.. Can't wait!

I guess thats all, i promised an interesting post but unfortunately i dont really have anything interesting to say..

Enjoy the rest of your day everyone!

Work? What work?

Fefechan told me to update so i will although i dont have much to say really..

Since my uncle john and his family arrived i havnt had a minute to myself, im always sitting with them or wtching the kids or something. So although everyone's going to the Global Village today, i decided to stay home to have some time to myself..
The internship has been very unorganized and unprofessional, much to my disappointment. The first day was really awful, they made me call parents to tell them to come and pay the rest of their kids' school fees. I was telling myself, this is not accounting work why am i doing it? Anyways, today was much better, they moved me to another office and i wrote cheque forms and deposit slips and sorted things out, as well as working on their 25-year old system that they told me is not even used anywhere else.

I think our uni has really got a long way to go to make these internships useful, everyone says they don't really get any experience that they can use elsewhere. I definitely wont, their system is not even in English! and everything is just so old and not up to date.. it turns out the branch im at doesn't even have an accountant.. So far, ive seen so many violations of accounting rules, like the person who receives the money is the one who deposits it at the banks and also does all the deposit slip..their is no segregation of duties.. *sorry for all the accounting stuff, its just getting on my nerves*. This girl i was observing the other day takes money and cheques from parents and then just leaves the office and leaves them there on her desk! and we're talking about quite large amounts here.. So although i got to do some work today, it just wasn't enough and i spent about 2:30 hours doing nothing except doodling on my note papers and writing 'i heart japan' over and over again.. and practicing my hiragana.. im definitely taking my Japanese book with me tomorrow..

WOW lots of boring talk.. sorry to bore you.. you can see i love accounting ;)

So bash is coming over now for a bit since im home alone.. so got to go.. i'll try to update with something a bit more interesting later or tomorrow..

Cheers everyone

My little cousins

My uncle and his family arrived safely last night and its been so much fun. The kids are so energetic and playful, its fun.

Oliver and Daniel playing with their cars. Oliver is the tallest and skiniest 8 year old ive ever seen. Hes really shy and quite but so cute ;)

Daniel playing with his truck looking like an angel. Despite his angelic looks, Hes so naughty and never sits down even though his arm is broken and in a cast ;)

bored out of my bloody mind

I was so bored earlier that i ended up wandering around the house. So i decided to take a photo of what everyone was doing at that time but i got bored of that after two photos lol.

I was reviewing hiragana..

My mum was working on her "jelly bean" puzzle.. shes in love with puzzles.. BORING!

My uncle John and his family will be arriving within 2 hours i think. Can't wait to see my little cousins.. I can't decide on what to wear.. its such a pain.. i've been really into green lately so when i open my cupboards all i see is green.. but im not sick of it yet.. i guess its green today, but which exactly? LOL i have no idea what i'll wear.. better go and decide..

I really don't know where all my day went.. i haven't done much.. listening to gackto and yamapi all day.. Oh well, never mind..

Take care everyone =)

Snippets from my 'little book of hope'

Ohayou minna! genki?

I'm doing just fine, sorry i made everyone worry..

I have this little book called 'the little book of hope', its really inspiring.. anyways, i decided to share some of things in there with you guys..

WHILE YOU HAVE BREATH, YOU HAVE HOPE
When you no longer worry about the future, and no longer have regrets about the past, you exist purely in the moment. If you concentrate on that moment you instinctively know that as long as you have life you have hope. Enjoy the moment. Breath Easily. Relax.

HOPE INTO ACTION
Some people believe hope is nothing more than an expectation of certain outcomes. It is more than this. Hope is a real commitment to positive behavior and attitudes. In other words, hope is active, not passive. Make this commitment and life starts to look rosier.

ENCOURAGE GREATNESS
Whatever your role, you have within yourself the ability to encourage and inspire others to achieve greater things. There is a dual benefit to this. The first is that someone else will go on to achieve something of worth. The second is that you will be encouraged and inspired yourself.

CHANGE FOR THE BETTER
All great achievements and success in life, and all changes for the better, have one powerful characteristic in common: the first step. Take the first step, and the journey has a way of taking care of itself.

Cheers

feeling down

I havn't felt this down for months :(

Excerpts from old stories i wrote

Konbanwa minna, genki?

Today i decided to put up excerpts of stuff i wrote a LONG time ago. These are from different stories i would start writing and never complete, something that really annoyed my sisters coz they loved it when i read every chapter to them.. but then i'd stop and start on something else.. LOL.. and they'd get angry.. I guess, despite all my effort, i just was never meant to be a writer.. I used to love writing.. adored it.. whenever i read something i'd get the urge to write.. but i guess my muse wasnt doing a very good job, LOL, coz i never got far..

Ok so i'll leave you with some excerpts im copying off of yellowing paper from about 8 year old notepads..

Excerpt from 'Cold people, Cold world' by 15 year old Ima ^^ The story starts with this girl crying in the woods, shes depressed and given up on life..

"I close my eyes, only for a second but to me it seems like eternity. I close my eyes because theres nothing worth watching. As i close my eyes, tears escape them and trickle down my face. When they reach my lips they are warm no more. I close my eyes because all i see is lies. I close my eyes because the people around me are only devils in disguise. I close my eyes for there is no warmth in this world... i wish time could stop, stop the sickening race.."

Excerpt from 'Endless Guilt' by 14 year old Ima. This was a very disturbing story about a teenager who kills himself because he feels so guilty about his father's death, but it turns out he wasn't to blame. I wrote it in flashbacks, with him shooting himself as the beginning of the story. ^^ LOL i have no idea where the idea for this crazy story came from.

"He stood there hearing the faraway sounds of the school chorus practicing for the upcoming homecoming party. A whistle from the playground shrilled thought the open corridor. And louder than anything, the roar of voices from the busy school canteen. Suddenly, it all stopped. Suddenly, all sound died. The only sound he could hear was his mother's loud sobbing and mournful voice "please dont, Derek, please leave her alone. Shes only a baby. Oh no.. Derek.. Derek". Then, as quick as the sound popped into his head, it vanished. It stopped. and he was thankful for that. He was trembling, his legs couldn't left him anymore, he dropped to the floor...."

Im getting tired of this LOL.. reading the stories, just bits and pieces, they're so lame.. Theres one good one but i cant find it anywhere.. i'll have to look more.. I have the first 2 sentences LOL i started writing in the same notepad as the other stories, wrote 2 sentences then decided i'd write it in another one. This is all i've got.

"A soft melody hung about in the air. It seemed as though it did not have an exact tune" LOL thats all..

anyways, i have so many more i wrote and its cracking me up reading them.. my 'former self' was so ambitious lol yet lacked talent.. poor girl.. so glad i grew out of it, writing i mean.. i dont like writing anymore, i'd rather read.. oh that reminds me, i need some new books to read.. just read the last one i picked up, and cried all the way through it LOL..

Ok thats it for now.. oyasumi minna ^^

Let gackt do the talking..

No comment on my part. I'll let gackto-sama work his magic ;)

School stories

What i did today in a nutshell:

• bash came to my house.
• breakfast together, yummy French toast with pancake syrup. oichii *wink*
• movie in an empty cinema (had it all to ourselves)
• lunch together
• short stop at the beach for a short walk.
• ice-cream (bash's idea of course, i don't like ice cream)
• showed bash my japan pix
• started talking about high school and our friends (we were in the same class in grade 11 and 12) and how we miss them and started talking about our teachers.. and how i was so naughty and used to skip classes, while the good bash used to attend all the classes..

Some school stories:

There was a day when we both decided we would hold hands for 2 hours i think.. our desks were next to each other so we held each others hand under the desks and noone noticed.. then the teacher called on bash to answer and she had to stand up but we still held hands and the teacher didn't notice coz the girl in front was blocking her view of our hands.. then a while later, she asked me to turn on the AC and (LOL) i got up and bash got up with me (the AC was right behind me) and i had to stand on a chair since its so high but still held on to bash's hand LOL and everyone was staring, even the teacher, like WTF are they doing? and how dare they tease me in my class? and we just ignored her and kept on grinning and sat back as if nothing was happening.. and girls were giggling all over and me and bash were holding back our laughs.. anyways, she didnt say anything, i think she just didnt want to lose any of her precious class time and she knew we woulld defend ourselves somehow (i was really cheeky back then, i guess i still am LOL).. even during break we still held hands LOL..it was stupid but we did it anyways..

then we got on to talking about when we were in elementary school and if we didnt have the right colours that the art teacher asked for we would cry and beg our parents not to make us go to school coz we were so afarid of the teacher.. LOL i dont know why since they cant hit or anything but it was just scary.. bash says her little brothers are still like this..we were such scaredy cats..

Oh and when i was in 4th grade a bunch of 6th graders told everyone that there was a dead girl in the toilet.. a lot of girls started crying.. i was brave and went with some of them to look.. we looked under the stall door and there were bones and we all cried, we thought the girl died (we didnt know it took so long for a body to decompose all that LOL).. i came home and told my mum what i'd heard at school that the school gardener had killed a girl in the toilet.. then the next morning assembly the principal told us that it was chicken bones that one of the cleaners had thrown there for some reason.. we didn't believe her... LOL

I also remember once when i was in 8th grade i wanted to skip class with my friend so we went and got freezing cold water and opened our eyes wide and kept rubbing it in our eyes so they became red as if we were crying and told the teacher we were sick.. LOL i was so naughty, what can i say..

So many other stories but im tired of writing.. thats all..

ta ra!

*oichii is copyrighted, it's yamapi's word for oishii so, to avoid being sued im not claiming its mine ;)

mish mash

Hiya everyone..

i have so much to say but whats on my mind right now is "BLOGGER SUCKS!"! its driving me insane.. it wont let me log in and keeps turning into some strange language, Hebrew i think, and lets me comment on other blogs but not on comments on my blog.. its just being totally weird..

anyways.. for some reason i've been thinking that the Japanese classes are ending, so when i was in Japan i thought they had had the last class.. the week i came back it turned out classes were not over yet, but unfortunately i found that out a bit too late so i couldn't go.. and for some other reason i put it in my mind that THAT was the last class.. so this week fefe-chan asks me 'are you coming to class this week?' and im like 'we still have class!' LOL i dont know why i kept thinking its over.. and my mum was going out to dinner so it was too late to go.. so then im like.. 'great! ive missed the last class'.. then fefechan sent me a message saying it wasnt the last class.. i was like 'WTH'.. anyways, thanks fefechan, atleast now i know so i can attend next class (which probably IS the last class).. i've missed my japanese classes..

Off Japanese, now i'd like to welcome a new friend, Camilia! Welcome aboard LOL thanks for the advice and i'll be posting more Japan pix soon, so i hope you like them..

We've had people over all day so im so exhausted now.. oh, i remembered the stupidest thing that happened today.. I was watching this little girl riding a little horse (toy one LOL) and she fell and i wanted to stop her crying.. we were outside and i was like , i know what, i'll open the big freezer (its a large one that stands up like a fridge not one that shorizontal 'this is important to know so you dont think im even stupider when you know the story') and i just wanted her to feel the cool air and stop crying, and it worked! but somehow, i was talking and my tongue touched one of the metal shelves, and you know how when metals is so cold it gets a layer if you put your finger it would probably peel the skin off, well my tongue touched it and the tip of my tongue stuck to it and i had to pull hard and obviously started bleeding LOL there was so much blood when i walked in the house everyone was like 'bloody hell whats happened?'. Who could get their tongue stuck in the freezer? LOL i seriously dont know how it happened but at least it occupied the little girl so she didn't cry..

Tomorrow im going out with bash to the cinema at 10 in the morning LOL.. shes been wanting to go to the gold class cinema but they always have boring movies, and they have cloverfield on tomorrow so we're going.. she says shes treating me coz i came from Japan (she hasn't even visited since i came back, i told you bash im throwing your presents away!).. and we might have lunch too, and then (if she remembers) shes bringing her wii over and we'll have loads of fun..we havnt been out together for a while..so its a nice change..

I had to go to an interview yesterday, for the internship.. the HR manager was supposed to interview me but (thank god) he had some urgent matter to attend to and had to leave.. so instead i got interviewed by 4 girls, about the same age as me, so it was really casual and i did just fine.. they've already accepted me there so i have no idea why they interviewed me but what the hell.. Oh, and my dad got a new car and i now have his.. (not that i will be using it much, just to work and back)..

Reemy-chan.. i miss you loads and cant wait to hear about you adventures ;)

Fefechan, miss you too lots and lots just like jelly tots ;P

Thats all for now i guess.. i want to upload photos but it takes forever.. i'll try to upload them later or tomorrow..

Cheers
PS my uncle and his family are coming next week.. can't wait to see my little cousins.. one of them whose 2 i've never met, the 7 year old i met when he was 1.. so long ago..

Quick Update

Despite the disappointing lack of comments, it seems at least one person has read my last post. YAY! LOL Bash, ra ra ra ray..ra ra ra ray..

Fefechan has just left one a 2 day trip (i think).. hope you have a good time :)

I attempted to cook something today, bad idea LOL not really cook.. i've just been watching too much of Ramsay's kitchen nightmares, and i fancied soup after seeing it on the show and decided to make my own concoction.. spicy lemony avocado soup.. it looked lovely but didnt taste that good.. i think i went overboard with the lemon.. killed all the other flavors..

been watching the reality show, kid nation, so far so good.. its about 40 kids having to live alone in an old abandoned city in the middle of nowhere with no adults. and they have to operate their town, cook, wash, sell..etc.. its interesting..

I've also been reading some gackto interviews, if your a gackt fan you know how entertaining they are.. LOL.. he is so funny and crazy.. also listening to his CD that i picked up in Japan.. i know most of his songs by heart.. so its nice to listen to something new, although they all seem to be GUNDAM songs.. good stuff anyways..

I'm really frustrated.. i dont know where to go with my japanese studies now.. i've finished my JAPANESE FOR BUSY PEOPLE book a while back.. i know all the grammar and stuff.. dont know where to go now.. i have lots of Japanese learning books and CDs but i just dont know where to start..

im off to watch kid nation now..